As usual the day started with the promise of a big night out with many people. In the end this got narrowed down to 4, and we were lucky to get four out. JB was finally up for actually going out, and Grace also came along and we eventually dragged Ben out too. Various others were supposed to attend but didn't thanks to essays and various other reasons. The night began with the now traditional game of arrogance. I lost multiple times and can safely say I was ruined. Concoctions comprising sparkling line, some 45% stuff I saw in Asda, Sambuca, Whiskey, Red Wine, Rose wine, beer and cider were drunk and I was ruined, luckily everyone was ruined which meant it would be a decent night.
It was a fairly traditional Lola Lo night, decently busy, decent enough music, and overpriced drinks. The night within the club passed without much incident (from what I can remember) however we did lose one of JB's mates in the progress of the night. There was only one notable incident which unfortunately can't be mentioned on here. After the club shut I finally got my wish. After every single night out I want to go to the beach, I mean why else go to a sea side Uni? Luckily for only the 2nd time people agreed and me and Ben ran into the sea naked despite the temperature being in the minuses. Luckily we had our alcohol blankets on so didn't feel the cold. After a solid minute or two in the sea we headed for the long journey back. Got home. And just clingfilmed everyones rooms. It was a fun experience.
After waking up worse for wear the the last thing I wanted to do was attend "bring a friend Friday" at the gym. But I did. Never again. I'd much rather just have a few pints of Guinness than do that again. I am not a fitness person, hence why I play cricket. The best sport for drinking whilst playing.
Friday 7 December 2012
Sunday 2 December 2012
An eventful night in Lava.
After spending Friday night being surrounded in horrific awkwardness, crying at the Green Mile and staying up until 9:30 watching various other films whilst drinking whiskey from the bottle I decided I was definitely going out Saturday. So the options were V or Lava. An easy choice as V is tremendous and Lava is not great. However Jonny doesn't like the fact V is in an old church as he hates religion, so now refuses to go. So off to Lava it was.
After a lovely game of arrogance resulting in Jonny being sick and dirty pints consisting of whiskey, wine, beer, Guinness and mulled wine, we left for Lava. Me, Jonny, Ben and Jake. After an awkward moment buying tickets for Lava off Ben and Jonny's ex roommate who left due to disliking her flatmates, specifically Jonny. Once we evaded this we headed into Lava. Danced for a bit to the fabulous music such as The Spice Girls (I love them) we headed to the smoking area for Jonny to try and prey on some girls. We sat down and Jake got speaking to these girls, insulted one by saying she looked like Adele (he got away with it in the end). The girl asked if we were gay as well (Jake is) and after saying no (well saying maybe a little bit would have been more complicated) we ended up speaking to them for a bit before heading back onto the dancefloor. A fairly traditional event happened. Jonny got rejected a lot. We danced. We headed back to the smoking area.
The girls from before were there again so we befriended them again, only this time they had an addition. One of the girls Jonny had preyed on. After discussing how desperate Jonny is, her friends offered her £1 to flirt with and kiss Jonny on the cheek. This happened to our amusement and he blatantly thought he was getting some. He didn't. However after speaking for a while Ben realised that she was from roughly where he was from, and knew many of the people Ben knew. (And as it turns out, shagged them) Ben could have obviously pulled her as the night unfolded, however he didn't go for it. Poor form.
The rest of the night unfolded with us with the now extended group, dancing before we headed back to the Disco floor. Jonny tried it with a girl before her boyfriend, who looked rather hard came over. This didn't deter him, as he persisted with the girls friend. Unfortunately it turned out it was in fact this girl who was the guys girlfriend. There was an awkward moment as the guy got up clearly to go and kill Jonny, before Ben dragged Jonny away and saved him.
So once again, no one pulled, someone nearly died and there were many other fights in Lava. However it was once again a decent enough night, much better than staying in.
After a lovely game of arrogance resulting in Jonny being sick and dirty pints consisting of whiskey, wine, beer, Guinness and mulled wine, we left for Lava. Me, Jonny, Ben and Jake. After an awkward moment buying tickets for Lava off Ben and Jonny's ex roommate who left due to disliking her flatmates, specifically Jonny. Once we evaded this we headed into Lava. Danced for a bit to the fabulous music such as The Spice Girls (I love them) we headed to the smoking area for Jonny to try and prey on some girls. We sat down and Jake got speaking to these girls, insulted one by saying she looked like Adele (he got away with it in the end). The girl asked if we were gay as well (Jake is) and after saying no (well saying maybe a little bit would have been more complicated) we ended up speaking to them for a bit before heading back onto the dancefloor. A fairly traditional event happened. Jonny got rejected a lot. We danced. We headed back to the smoking area.
The girls from before were there again so we befriended them again, only this time they had an addition. One of the girls Jonny had preyed on. After discussing how desperate Jonny is, her friends offered her £1 to flirt with and kiss Jonny on the cheek. This happened to our amusement and he blatantly thought he was getting some. He didn't. However after speaking for a while Ben realised that she was from roughly where he was from, and knew many of the people Ben knew. (And as it turns out, shagged them) Ben could have obviously pulled her as the night unfolded, however he didn't go for it. Poor form.
The rest of the night unfolded with us with the now extended group, dancing before we headed back to the Disco floor. Jonny tried it with a girl before her boyfriend, who looked rather hard came over. This didn't deter him, as he persisted with the girls friend. Unfortunately it turned out it was in fact this girl who was the guys girlfriend. There was an awkward moment as the guy got up clearly to go and kill Jonny, before Ben dragged Jonny away and saved him.
So once again, no one pulled, someone nearly died and there were many other fights in Lava. However it was once again a decent enough night, much better than staying in.
Thursday 29 November 2012
A really manly day.
Yesterday has to go down as a really manly day for me. Unfortunately for anyone hoping for a really exciting butch story you will be let down, as this involves me being the same slightly (quite a lot) camp in certain ways cockney but with a beard (I can't wait for Movember to end so I can have a bloody shave) the day lived up to expectations. I started the day in the early hours watching Made in Chelsea on 4OD. This episode was fantastic and had me doing what I usually do, swooning over Spencer, swearing at Andy, wishing Caggie was back and loving Boulle. This episode however was severely emotional too, as I cried when Millie had to give her dog away (so, so emotional, I just adore dogs) and also at Boulle, who looked like a sad puppy the whole way through, it was devastating as I just adore him and seeing him upset was horrible. Hopefully next week Boulle is happier. The main new bit this week was Millie went from a normal bitch, to Queen bitch with a quite fabulous dog based insult to Victoria, next weeks insults look on a par too with "if she wants to act like that she should go and stay in Essex" as a Cockney/Essex boy this made me laugh massively. So after that start the day could only get manlier right? Wrong.
I awoke from my slumber around 5pm, a traditional waking time for me at Uni. I text a friend to see if they wanted to go to Asda and this was when the option of Twilight at the cinema arose. I had never seen one before but own the boxset and despite this thought I may as well go for the experience. We arrived and paid courtesy of our lovely Orange Wednesdays and me, JB and Nicole ventured into the cinema. 2 hours later all I wanted to do was go home and watch the boxset. We agreed we'd watch the first two, and then watch the next two tomorrow before finishing off with Breaking Dawn Part 2 the next day. The film was amazing, and despite me not knowing the whole storyline nearly had me crying at the montage (let's face it, any montage with A thousand years playing will be emotional). We got home, watched the two films and I just can't wait to watch the next two. It is really great. I spent a lot of time swooning over Robert Pattinson, as he is truly beautiful in the first film, (I love pale skin, and he was incredibly pale in the first, I also found Kristen Stewart to be at her most attractive in the first) and he is now my lock screen on my phone, with the background being Morrissey of course. (I should point out that despite significant evidence/campness I am infact straight, just can appreciate beautiful men such as R Patz and Ryan Gosling)
Due to my new infatuation with Twilight I am currently about to read the first book, I hope it lives up to expectations.
The only other real notable occurance was the "I hate being spat at through the hole in a sausage" incident. A completely innocent remark by me, which Nicole found incredibly amusing. Once again me not thinking before I speak.
I also frankly can't wait for tomorrow, I know I will spend the day during lectures thinking about Edward and Bella, but it is shaping up to be a cracking day. First of all arguably the highlight, my friend has promised to wear her fairisle cardigan I once saw which I thought was amazing. I personally can't wait to see it as it was truly beautiful, I just saw it lying on the bed one day and fell in love with it, if only I could find a male version, or suit a cardigan. A real highlight of University life it shall be. After that it is either Lola Lo clubbing (I quite hope, but I don't think it will happen as not many will go) or a truly excellent alternative which is Twilight Eclipse, Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 1, Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2 and then the Green Mile. If this day happens to plan. It will be severely emotional. I will probably cry at the beauty of my friends jumpers, and then Twilight and then I have heard I will be an emotional wreck after the Green Mile. Tomorrow looks like yet another non manly, but emotional day.
I awoke from my slumber around 5pm, a traditional waking time for me at Uni. I text a friend to see if they wanted to go to Asda and this was when the option of Twilight at the cinema arose. I had never seen one before but own the boxset and despite this thought I may as well go for the experience. We arrived and paid courtesy of our lovely Orange Wednesdays and me, JB and Nicole ventured into the cinema. 2 hours later all I wanted to do was go home and watch the boxset. We agreed we'd watch the first two, and then watch the next two tomorrow before finishing off with Breaking Dawn Part 2 the next day. The film was amazing, and despite me not knowing the whole storyline nearly had me crying at the montage (let's face it, any montage with A thousand years playing will be emotional). We got home, watched the two films and I just can't wait to watch the next two. It is really great. I spent a lot of time swooning over Robert Pattinson, as he is truly beautiful in the first film, (I love pale skin, and he was incredibly pale in the first, I also found Kristen Stewart to be at her most attractive in the first) and he is now my lock screen on my phone, with the background being Morrissey of course. (I should point out that despite significant evidence/campness I am infact straight, just can appreciate beautiful men such as R Patz and Ryan Gosling)
Due to my new infatuation with Twilight I am currently about to read the first book, I hope it lives up to expectations.
The only other real notable occurance was the "I hate being spat at through the hole in a sausage" incident. A completely innocent remark by me, which Nicole found incredibly amusing. Once again me not thinking before I speak.
I also frankly can't wait for tomorrow, I know I will spend the day during lectures thinking about Edward and Bella, but it is shaping up to be a cracking day. First of all arguably the highlight, my friend has promised to wear her fairisle cardigan I once saw which I thought was amazing. I personally can't wait to see it as it was truly beautiful, I just saw it lying on the bed one day and fell in love with it, if only I could find a male version, or suit a cardigan. A real highlight of University life it shall be. After that it is either Lola Lo clubbing (I quite hope, but I don't think it will happen as not many will go) or a truly excellent alternative which is Twilight Eclipse, Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 1, Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2 and then the Green Mile. If this day happens to plan. It will be severely emotional. I will probably cry at the beauty of my friends jumpers, and then Twilight and then I have heard I will be an emotional wreck after the Green Mile. Tomorrow looks like yet another non manly, but emotional day.
Tuesday 27 November 2012
A night in the best club in Bournemouth
Undoubtedly the best club in Bournemouth is V, especially on student nights on a Monday. The DJ is excellent, vodkas are cheap, it has the coolest outdoor terrace ever complete with a hot tub and to top it off it is inside an old church and it has been maintained to still look like a church. A Monday is never a proper Monday without V (Or Made in Chelsea).
So after around an hour of playing arrogance (I played with red wine, never a good idea when you lose 5 times in a row) we left around 12:20 to arrive at V around 12:35. It was yet again another good night. It was a fairly traditional night, lots of drunk dancing to decent music. The only irregular occurances were me and Nicole running off to egg our friend on with some guy, whether it worked or not, we just don't know at the moment. And also seeing my next door neighbour out on her birthday, (who one of my roommates is basically infatuated with, but wouldn't even say happy birthday to her, poor form). And as always in Bournemouth you get cornered/shouted at by the black guy in the toilet for not giving him any money. Standard fare.
Another good thing about V is that me and Nicole don't have to be in until 12 the next day. This means we can get home around 3:30 awake at 10:30 fresh as a daisy for our lectures. That's always the plan anyway. Instead what actually happened was as I was about to walk to my block, Nicole couldn't find her key (standard fare) so I waited until she did. This culminated in eventually leaving for home at 6:30 after speaking for around 3 hours about the most irrelevant and last night depressing matters, and also just how weird one of our friends actually is. This again, is traditional, the amount of nights we arrive to Dorchester House at 3:30 for me to eventually get into my flat at 7am is unreal, the latest so far was 10am. Despite Nicoles insistence that we were still going in, I knew we wasn't and low and behold as I awoke to a text saying "Far too tired, not going in, just sleep all day for the bantz". These feelings were certainly echoed by me.
So currently, I am sitting having missed yet another day of lectures, and wondering whether we are pub quizzing it up tonight. Also it is Tuesday, which means Bliss. The worst, but freest club in Bournemouth, so quite a comedown from V
So after around an hour of playing arrogance (I played with red wine, never a good idea when you lose 5 times in a row) we left around 12:20 to arrive at V around 12:35. It was yet again another good night. It was a fairly traditional night, lots of drunk dancing to decent music. The only irregular occurances were me and Nicole running off to egg our friend on with some guy, whether it worked or not, we just don't know at the moment. And also seeing my next door neighbour out on her birthday, (who one of my roommates is basically infatuated with, but wouldn't even say happy birthday to her, poor form). And as always in Bournemouth you get cornered/shouted at by the black guy in the toilet for not giving him any money. Standard fare.
Another good thing about V is that me and Nicole don't have to be in until 12 the next day. This means we can get home around 3:30 awake at 10:30 fresh as a daisy for our lectures. That's always the plan anyway. Instead what actually happened was as I was about to walk to my block, Nicole couldn't find her key (standard fare) so I waited until she did. This culminated in eventually leaving for home at 6:30 after speaking for around 3 hours about the most irrelevant and last night depressing matters, and also just how weird one of our friends actually is. This again, is traditional, the amount of nights we arrive to Dorchester House at 3:30 for me to eventually get into my flat at 7am is unreal, the latest so far was 10am. Despite Nicoles insistence that we were still going in, I knew we wasn't and low and behold as I awoke to a text saying "Far too tired, not going in, just sleep all day for the bantz". These feelings were certainly echoed by me.
So currently, I am sitting having missed yet another day of lectures, and wondering whether we are pub quizzing it up tonight. Also it is Tuesday, which means Bliss. The worst, but freest club in Bournemouth, so quite a comedown from V
Saturday 24 November 2012
Losing my virginity and crying.
Last night was a very big night for me. At around 11:45pm I lost my virginity, I also cried during, and after it. No, not sex, nothing that mundane or boring. This was much more important (and in hindsight enjoyable). Last night, I watched the Shawshank Redemption. How I hadn't seen it before I do not know. (I have also never seen the Green Mile, I will lose that virginity soon also). Some people sometimes think that there is a possibility that I am gay, if they saw me watch the Shawshank Redemption they would have suspected this significantly further (one of my friends had friends down once, 2 girls apparently asked if I was gay the next day, I blame the Lava disco lounge bringing out my inner 80's campness) I cried, multiple times. I even compiled a list:
When Brooks killed himself (I cried massively at this, I was crying when he was reading the letter he wrote, when he killed himself I was a mess)
I cried when Andy played the classical music, a cracking scene.
When Red got released.
When Red found Andys box/letter
When Red and Andy reunited.
This officially meant that Shawshank eclipsed the Notebook which was the last film I cried at, as that was only two times. I must say, Shawshank was truly tremendous.
I did my traditional, drinking a bottle of red wine(not gay) during the film, and it got to 2am so I decided to see what was happening downstairs and planned a quiet night.
At 7am I got home, very very drunk. A quiet night failed, once again. It was basically me, Jonny and Roxy drinking and listening to music, and dancing whilst 3 others sat there playing Fifa. I drunk significant wine, significant fireball, significant sours and worst of all significant Fosters (the worst drink ever, it's horrific) this was what happened for around 5 hours with the only breaks were to go out with them 2 whist they had a fag. This was much fun as we saw some people I know, including one off his tits on MDMA and it was amusing watching him breathing like someone on the phone to a sex line and practically eating his lip. This amused me greatly.
Around 530am we decided to play our favourite songs ever. The issue was we were all smashed, and we all get fairly emotional when drunk. Also our favourite songs are not exactly up beat. (Dance with my Father, you can reach me and my choice, Wish you were here was played) this effectively turned into a cry session for us all (not gay). Eventually we managed to pick ourselves up into a mood good enough to actually go home and sleep. In the end, it was a decent night for a night in. The only downsides being that yet again I barely slept, this is a common theme, sleep has become a luxury and it just isn't happening, hence me sitting in the living room for ours in my huge pink fluffy dressing gown (not gay) looking dead. All in all however, a successful, yet emotional Friday university night.
When Brooks killed himself (I cried massively at this, I was crying when he was reading the letter he wrote, when he killed himself I was a mess)
I cried when Andy played the classical music, a cracking scene.
When Red got released.
When Red found Andys box/letter
When Red and Andy reunited.
This officially meant that Shawshank eclipsed the Notebook which was the last film I cried at, as that was only two times. I must say, Shawshank was truly tremendous.
I did my traditional, drinking a bottle of red wine(not gay) during the film, and it got to 2am so I decided to see what was happening downstairs and planned a quiet night.
At 7am I got home, very very drunk. A quiet night failed, once again. It was basically me, Jonny and Roxy drinking and listening to music, and dancing whilst 3 others sat there playing Fifa. I drunk significant wine, significant fireball, significant sours and worst of all significant Fosters (the worst drink ever, it's horrific) this was what happened for around 5 hours with the only breaks were to go out with them 2 whist they had a fag. This was much fun as we saw some people I know, including one off his tits on MDMA and it was amusing watching him breathing like someone on the phone to a sex line and practically eating his lip. This amused me greatly.
Around 530am we decided to play our favourite songs ever. The issue was we were all smashed, and we all get fairly emotional when drunk. Also our favourite songs are not exactly up beat. (Dance with my Father, you can reach me and my choice, Wish you were here was played) this effectively turned into a cry session for us all (not gay). Eventually we managed to pick ourselves up into a mood good enough to actually go home and sleep. In the end, it was a decent night for a night in. The only downsides being that yet again I barely slept, this is a common theme, sleep has become a luxury and it just isn't happening, hence me sitting in the living room for ours in my huge pink fluffy dressing gown (not gay) looking dead. All in all however, a successful, yet emotional Friday university night.
Friday 23 November 2012
An attempt at being a good student...gone bad.
Today I decided I would be a good student and attend my 9am seminar despite not getting home until 4am. I decided to avoid sleep to ensure I was awake and then did some work.
Much to my dismay the bus driver decided the bus timetables were wrong, and left 5 minutes early(and around 5 seconds before I was at the stop) all despite an empty bus. I then half walked before chancing my arm in the hope a bus went near Uni. It didn't. Instead it has took me around 30 minutes away from Uni and from my home. Therefore it is another seminar missed. I'm just not cut out for this student lark.
Jamie Laing? Nope, Lola Lo.
The night was planned. Me and my friend Grace were going to go to Bonsai Lounge to see Jamie Laing from Made in Chelsea as Nicole the normal Made in Chelsea friend was not here. However at around 1130 I noticed a tweet saying filming had overran so he couldn't make it. Luckily we hadn't bought tickets as I would have been near suicidal such as the time when I thought Francis Boulle wasn't going to turn up (he did, he was amazing) so this left me, Jack, Jonny, Jake and Ben to go to Lola Lo. The main Thursday place to celebrate my majestic 11% mid term which was clearly a resounding success.
As soon as we walked into the club the phrase "there's so many bitches" was thrown around by the others (they wonder why they can't pull) and after a few extra drinks we ventured into the crowd. Jack pulled almost instantly. A resounding success for our group. This left me and Jake (almost certainly not interested in pulling) Ben (50% certain not to be interested in pulling) and Jonny (his life revolves around trying to pull). This was a mismatch and led to poor Ben being dragged by Jonny in a group of unsuspecting girls, or prey if you're Jonny for him to prey on he used his less sophisticated version of the gypsy grab again. Unsurprisingly it didn't work once again. However he did have a 6 foot and rather large girl come on to him (amusing as Jonny is around 5 foot 7) even he didn't fancy going for that one.
After a night of embarassingly dancing with random girls in the nightclub we ventured into the smoking area to try to find Ben and Jonny. From then on we spent most of the rest of the night there as Jonny proved ever so slightly more successful at poncing fags from people than pulling. After chatting to many random girls and Jonny having a few fags Jonny finally pulled for the night. A very very drunk, and very very slutty girl had been attached to Jonny (she had previously grabbed Ben in the club and had been seen all over at least 98% of the males in the club) Jonny didn't try to pursue it back to his as he usually does, but he was satisfied. He then cracked on with some more without success.
I surprisingly met an American who I didn't find highly annoying, and want to run away from. Tracey was fairly interesting company even though she did vote for Obama and weirdly she knew one of my friends through quite an obscure course (radio). Despite her being cool for an American any chance of me becoming a fan of the country completely stopped when she said the American Office is better than the UK one. Stupid Americans. Somehow she is the one person who has seemed to have heard of Dagenham, poor girl.
As the night drew to a close one of the funniest moments of my life happened. Jonny had attached himself to yet another young, and drunk girl and as we were being kicked out of the club we called for Jonny to come with us, he said he'd be a few minutes before Jake shouted out, in front of the girl "Jonny she isn't going to have sex with you so stop trying" I found this hilarious. Unfortunately the girl walked off and Jonny still wants to kill Jake. Personally I think dying would be worth it for the amusement it caused.
Overall it was a very good night (also some of my suspicions were well and truly confirmed) and I will definitely go Lola Lo again as Thursdays are boring when there is no Made in Chelsea presence at Bonsai. The other lads are up for it as well as it is "crawling with girls, and ones who are up for it" personally I will go to ensure that I am not bored and also to make sure I make it into my 9am seminar, as frankly the only way I ever see 9am is if I haven't slept prior to it. This is why I am writing this at 7:25am whilst still drunk, and extremely tired.
I was also shouted at in the street at around 3:30 by a very, very drunk solitary man shouting "you do accounting and finance" yes, yes I do.
Friday nights mean one thing, Lava. Lava means many things, but mainly drunkeness, amusing anecdotes and no class whatsoever. Hopefully some amusing stories come out of it. I will maintain my not actually gay, gay best friend vibe in Lava Friday night as always. (Nicoles words, not mine)
As soon as we walked into the club the phrase "there's so many bitches" was thrown around by the others (they wonder why they can't pull) and after a few extra drinks we ventured into the crowd. Jack pulled almost instantly. A resounding success for our group. This left me and Jake (almost certainly not interested in pulling) Ben (50% certain not to be interested in pulling) and Jonny (his life revolves around trying to pull). This was a mismatch and led to poor Ben being dragged by Jonny in a group of unsuspecting girls, or prey if you're Jonny for him to prey on he used his less sophisticated version of the gypsy grab again. Unsurprisingly it didn't work once again. However he did have a 6 foot and rather large girl come on to him (amusing as Jonny is around 5 foot 7) even he didn't fancy going for that one.
After a night of embarassingly dancing with random girls in the nightclub we ventured into the smoking area to try to find Ben and Jonny. From then on we spent most of the rest of the night there as Jonny proved ever so slightly more successful at poncing fags from people than pulling. After chatting to many random girls and Jonny having a few fags Jonny finally pulled for the night. A very very drunk, and very very slutty girl had been attached to Jonny (she had previously grabbed Ben in the club and had been seen all over at least 98% of the males in the club) Jonny didn't try to pursue it back to his as he usually does, but he was satisfied. He then cracked on with some more without success.
I surprisingly met an American who I didn't find highly annoying, and want to run away from. Tracey was fairly interesting company even though she did vote for Obama and weirdly she knew one of my friends through quite an obscure course (radio). Despite her being cool for an American any chance of me becoming a fan of the country completely stopped when she said the American Office is better than the UK one. Stupid Americans. Somehow she is the one person who has seemed to have heard of Dagenham, poor girl.
As the night drew to a close one of the funniest moments of my life happened. Jonny had attached himself to yet another young, and drunk girl and as we were being kicked out of the club we called for Jonny to come with us, he said he'd be a few minutes before Jake shouted out, in front of the girl "Jonny she isn't going to have sex with you so stop trying" I found this hilarious. Unfortunately the girl walked off and Jonny still wants to kill Jake. Personally I think dying would be worth it for the amusement it caused.
Overall it was a very good night (also some of my suspicions were well and truly confirmed) and I will definitely go Lola Lo again as Thursdays are boring when there is no Made in Chelsea presence at Bonsai. The other lads are up for it as well as it is "crawling with girls, and ones who are up for it" personally I will go to ensure that I am not bored and also to make sure I make it into my 9am seminar, as frankly the only way I ever see 9am is if I haven't slept prior to it. This is why I am writing this at 7:25am whilst still drunk, and extremely tired.
I was also shouted at in the street at around 3:30 by a very, very drunk solitary man shouting "you do accounting and finance" yes, yes I do.
Friday nights mean one thing, Lava. Lava means many things, but mainly drunkeness, amusing anecdotes and no class whatsoever. Hopefully some amusing stories come out of it. I will maintain my not actually gay, gay best friend vibe in Lava Friday night as always. (Nicoles words, not mine)
Thursday 22 November 2012
Mid Term number one
We received our mid term results for Accounting today (A subject I didn't choose to do, how is it even relevant to Economics) and it was interesting.
Basically I have been to 4, maybe 5 out of around 20 lectures so far, 1 seminar out of about 7 and no PAL sessions. I also didn't revise and didn't take a single note. I wasn't expecting a good result.
We were comforted by a delightful pie chart showing the average mark to be 77.5% and 60% got over 80%. I then received mine.
11%.
11% in a test worth 40% of my Accounting mark. (bare in mind 20% is on questions in Seminars which I don't attend)
Safe to say Accounting isn't my forte, and hasn't been a resounding success.
Wednesday 21 November 2012
A night out in Bliss
Tuesday's used to mean two things. Pub Quiz (which me and my friend Nicole managed to win on our own somehow once) and then Milk. A wonderful night of Indie and older music (they even play The Smiths, heaven) the first 6 weeks Milk was always rammed. This was until one night where it was empty. It turns out a £3 entry and £2.70 doubles are far too much to pay for a student so now everyone goes to Bliss. Free entry. £2 doubles. The only issue with Bliss is the music is shite and they cram over 1000 people into a postage stamp sized club. After being informed we were going out around 1130 (I was informed at 11:20) I chucked on some half ironed clothes, downed a bottle of wine, took another bottle with me and drunk it on the way (You can take the boy out of the Dagenham....) we got to Bliss. Downed 5 Jager Bombs and we were set. Out of our group of four there were two whose main focus as always is pulling. So much of the amusement is seeing their techniques.
Jonny is the most amusing, the only way to describe his technoque is a less subtle method of the Gypsy Grab. He sees a girl, goes behind her, grabs her by the waist and starts to grind, or more accurately dry hump them. It didn't work....again.
It was a fairly usual night, no one got any. We were all smashed and had a decent night. The only weirdish moment occuring when I moved and moved my friend out of the way to let two girls through, only for one of them to call me a gentleman and kiss me on the cheek and insist I kissed her on the cheek. For a moment I thought I was in Made in Chelsea and then I remembered I'm in a grotty little student club that people only go to as it's free. Despite Jonny's best urgings I didn't "go for it" with this girl. However being called a gentleman in a club is something to cross off of my bucket list.
Tuesday 20 November 2012
University stories so far...
Well seeing as I have been at University for 2 months there have obviously been some interesting occurances, I won't bore you with many, but here is a select few.
The main one happened just last week, like all good University students I effectively suffer with insomnia. This one night it got to 1am and I had an Economics Mid Term worth 40% of my grade at 2pm. However I couldn't sleep due to insomnia and the incessant sound of crickets. This was due to there being 7 boys in my living room playing a new game called War Z. Introduced to them by JB (Thanks JB) and the background noise being crickets. I decided to join them in the living room as I couldn't sleep. However it was frustrating how obsessed they were by this game. So I cracked open a bottle of wine. The issue is this wine I despise. So I was just downing it. 1 bottle down no problem. 2 down no problem. Mid way through the 3rd. Start of problems. After 4 I was practically unconcious. 4 bottles of wine in little over an hour had ruined me to the point of no return. I blissfully went to sleep no issue or so I thought. I awoke the next day. With a pounding headache a serious hangover and no phone and panicked as I didn't know the time. Luckily I found it and realised I had plenty of time to get to the mid term. I go into my bathroom. Sick. Everywhere. (Chunder chart point number 2) I go onto Facebook. 7 notifications. That's unusual. I then see a video of me, throwing my laptop, falling over multiple times, shouting about my HIV and random acts of manlove appear on FB. To make it worse, my mother saw. Not a good look. However at least the video reminded me of the night. I then proceeded to complete my mid term in 15 minutes (we had an hour) despite barely being able to read. I get the results back next week. I am not optimistic.
Other notable achievements. 21 Jager Bombs in Lava on a Friday Night. Thank you £1 jager bombs. I was happy with that effort.
People here do not drink anywhere near as much as those in Essex, I outdrink everyone comfortably here, which surprises me.
My two chunder chart additions have been quite excellent, the second as mentioned above was spectacular. The first was in the street, outside a pub. You stay classy Dagenham.
Only one person has a 100% record on the chunder chart (however she has only spent one night in Bournemouth) this was a top effort though of being sick in the club toilets. Excellent work.
But apart from that there have been the usual university antics. Lot's of drunken nights and I could bore you with the stories for ages. I dread to think just how much alcohol I have consumed in these 2 months, however it is copious amounts. Apart from that it has been standard fare, except for one act of promiscuity which is completely out of turn as I am practically asexual here, I needed to have drunk more that night so I could be my usual self loving life to disco tunes. Hopefully more interesting stories occur. Tonight is usually a big night so hopefully we have a story to tell tomorrow.
The main one happened just last week, like all good University students I effectively suffer with insomnia. This one night it got to 1am and I had an Economics Mid Term worth 40% of my grade at 2pm. However I couldn't sleep due to insomnia and the incessant sound of crickets. This was due to there being 7 boys in my living room playing a new game called War Z. Introduced to them by JB (Thanks JB) and the background noise being crickets. I decided to join them in the living room as I couldn't sleep. However it was frustrating how obsessed they were by this game. So I cracked open a bottle of wine. The issue is this wine I despise. So I was just downing it. 1 bottle down no problem. 2 down no problem. Mid way through the 3rd. Start of problems. After 4 I was practically unconcious. 4 bottles of wine in little over an hour had ruined me to the point of no return. I blissfully went to sleep no issue or so I thought. I awoke the next day. With a pounding headache a serious hangover and no phone and panicked as I didn't know the time. Luckily I found it and realised I had plenty of time to get to the mid term. I go into my bathroom. Sick. Everywhere. (Chunder chart point number 2) I go onto Facebook. 7 notifications. That's unusual. I then see a video of me, throwing my laptop, falling over multiple times, shouting about my HIV and random acts of manlove appear on FB. To make it worse, my mother saw. Not a good look. However at least the video reminded me of the night. I then proceeded to complete my mid term in 15 minutes (we had an hour) despite barely being able to read. I get the results back next week. I am not optimistic.
Other notable achievements. 21 Jager Bombs in Lava on a Friday Night. Thank you £1 jager bombs. I was happy with that effort.
People here do not drink anywhere near as much as those in Essex, I outdrink everyone comfortably here, which surprises me.
My two chunder chart additions have been quite excellent, the second as mentioned above was spectacular. The first was in the street, outside a pub. You stay classy Dagenham.
Only one person has a 100% record on the chunder chart (however she has only spent one night in Bournemouth) this was a top effort though of being sick in the club toilets. Excellent work.
But apart from that there have been the usual university antics. Lot's of drunken nights and I could bore you with the stories for ages. I dread to think just how much alcohol I have consumed in these 2 months, however it is copious amounts. Apart from that it has been standard fare, except for one act of promiscuity which is completely out of turn as I am practically asexual here, I needed to have drunk more that night so I could be my usual self loving life to disco tunes. Hopefully more interesting stories occur. Tonight is usually a big night so hopefully we have a story to tell tomorrow.
The life of a bad University student...
I imagine no one shall read this, but I thought I'd publish it anyway as I was inspired after seeing a similar blog by a college friend.
First things first I spent 11 years being a bad School student and then 2 years being a bad College student. The national progression led me to an extra 3 years and to become a bad University student. My attendance at school was horrific. My attendance at college was atrocious and judged on an email I received from the University already my University attendance will live up to previous heights. Economics is the subject, nice and simple.
As I have been at University for 2 months there are obviously stories so far. I'll try to condense them to get us started.
First of all there are my roommates. Vegetarian Lola, Essex Sarah, Two pint Luke, The recluse JB and the noisy Jack. We rarely see Lola, however she is a nice girl. Sarah is from Brentwood so provides some of the Essexness I miss. Luke is a horrific lightweight who threw up after 2 pints on the first night. JB has retired from going out to play Zombie games and Jack is regularly heard playing guitar and singing, very loudly at 4am, basically he is a selfish cunt. There is an extended group which will be mentioned in the future.
We have a chunder chart, a fabulous invention, I currently lag behind on 2. Luke, Jack and Jonny (downstairs flat) are all on around 10. Good efforts.
So far I have down a bottle of Jager in three bombs. Done 4 pints of Guinness in 1 minute. Drunk 4 bottles of wine and proceeded to be drunk enough to have an amusing video on FB. Dressed in a pink dressing gown to go out. Dressed as a leprechaun. Out drunk everyone I know. Almost certainly fail a mid term. Turn up to my other mid term still drunk. Spend my entire 2,800 quid loan in less than 2 months. And generally spend far too much on red wine and Jager.
I also dried my clothes before washing at times, had my accent took the piss out of multiple times. (Ths life of a cockney outside of Essex/East London)
I have also seen other people at University meet people such as Political Analyst and author Owen Jones and politician David Miliband. I have met Francis Boulle and Spencer Matthews from Made in Chelsea. Not really academically comparable.
However despite all this my first two months have been a resounding success, I have met lots of great people and had a fabulous time. Hopefully many more fun times occur and many more opportunities to blog.
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