Mid Term number one

We received our mid term results for Accounting today (A subject I didn't choose to do, how is it even relevant to Economics) and it was interesting.

Basically I have been to 4, maybe 5 out of around 20 lectures so far, 1 seminar out of about 7 and no PAL sessions. I also didn't revise and didn't take a single note. I wasn't expecting a good result.

We were comforted by a delightful pie chart showing the average mark to be 77.5% and 60% got over 80%. I then received mine.

11%.

11% in a test worth 40% of my Accounting mark. (bare in mind 20% is on questions in Seminars which I don't attend)

Safe to say Accounting isn't my forte, and hasn't been a resounding success.

A night out in Bliss

Tuesday's used to mean two things. Pub Quiz (which me and my friend Nicole managed to win on our own somehow once) and then Milk. A wonderful night of Indie and older music (they even play The Smiths, heaven) the first 6 weeks Milk was always rammed. This was until one night where it was empty. It turns out a £3 entry and £2.70 doubles are far too much to pay for a student so now everyone goes to Bliss. Free entry. £2 doubles. The only issue with Bliss is the music is shite and they cram over 1000 people into a postage stamp sized club. After being informed we were going out around 1130 (I was informed at 11:20) I chucked on some half ironed clothes, downed a bottle of wine, took another bottle with me and drunk it on the way (You can take the boy out of the Dagenham....) we got to Bliss. Downed 5 Jager Bombs and we were set. Out of our group of four there were two whose main focus as always is pulling. So much of the amusement is seeing their techniques.

Jonny is the most amusing, the only way to describe his technoque is a less subtle method of the Gypsy Grab. He sees a girl, goes behind her, grabs her by the waist and starts to grind, or more accurately dry hump them. It didn't work....again.

It was a fairly usual night, no one got any. We were all smashed and had a decent night. The only weirdish moment occuring when I moved and moved my friend out of the way to let two girls through, only for one of them to call me a gentleman and kiss me on the cheek and insist I kissed her on the cheek. For a moment I thought I was in Made in Chelsea and then I remembered I'm in a grotty little student club that people only go to as it's free. Despite Jonny's best urgings I didn't "go for it" with this girl. However being called a gentleman in a club is something to cross off of my bucket list.

University stories so far...

Well seeing as I have been at University for 2 months there have obviously been some interesting occurances, I won't bore you with many, but here is a select few.

The main one happened just last week, like all good University students I effectively suffer with insomnia. This one night it got to 1am and I had an Economics Mid Term worth 40% of my grade at 2pm. However I couldn't sleep due to insomnia and the incessant sound of crickets. This was due to there being 7 boys in my living room playing a new game called War Z. Introduced to them by JB (Thanks JB) and the background noise being crickets. I decided to join them in the living room as I couldn't sleep. However it was frustrating how obsessed they were by this game. So I cracked open a bottle of wine. The issue is this wine I despise. So I was just downing it. 1 bottle down no problem. 2 down no problem. Mid way through the 3rd. Start of problems. After 4 I was practically unconcious. 4 bottles of wine in little over an hour had ruined me to the point of no return. I blissfully went to sleep no issue or so I thought. I awoke the next day. With a pounding headache a serious hangover and no phone and panicked as I didn't know the time. Luckily I found it and realised I had plenty of time to get to the mid term. I go into my bathroom. Sick. Everywhere. (Chunder chart point number 2) I go onto Facebook. 7 notifications. That's unusual. I then see a video of me, throwing my laptop, falling over multiple times, shouting about my HIV and random acts of manlove appear on FB. To make it worse, my mother saw. Not a good look. However at least the video reminded me of the night. I then proceeded to complete my mid term in 15 minutes (we had an hour) despite barely being able to read. I get the results back next week. I am not optimistic.

Other notable achievements. 21 Jager Bombs in Lava on a Friday Night. Thank you £1 jager bombs. I was happy with that effort.

People here do not drink anywhere near as much as those in Essex, I outdrink everyone comfortably here, which surprises me.

My two chunder chart additions have been quite excellent, the second as mentioned above was spectacular. The first was in the street, outside a pub. You stay classy Dagenham.
Only one person has a 100% record on the chunder chart (however she has only spent one night in Bournemouth) this was a top effort though of being sick in the club toilets. Excellent work.

But apart from that there have been the usual university antics. Lot's of drunken nights and I could bore you with the stories for ages. I dread to think just how much alcohol I have consumed in these 2 months, however it is copious amounts. Apart from that it has been standard fare, except for one act of promiscuity which is completely out of turn as I am practically asexual here, I needed to have drunk more that night so I could be my usual self loving life to disco tunes. Hopefully more interesting stories occur. Tonight is usually a big night so hopefully we have a story to tell tomorrow.

The life of a bad University student...

I imagine no one shall read this, but I thought I'd publish it anyway as I was inspired after seeing a similar blog by a college friend.

First things first I spent 11 years being a bad School student and then 2 years being a bad College student. The national progression led me to an extra 3 years and to become a bad University student. My attendance at school was horrific. My attendance at college was atrocious and judged on an email I received from the University already my University attendance will live up to previous heights. Economics is the subject, nice and simple.

As I have been at University for 2 months there are obviously stories so far. I'll try to condense them to get us started.

First of all there are my roommates. Vegetarian Lola, Essex Sarah, Two pint Luke, The recluse JB and the noisy Jack. We rarely see Lola, however she is a nice girl. Sarah is from Brentwood so provides some of the Essexness I miss. Luke is a horrific lightweight who threw up after 2 pints on the first night. JB has retired from going out to play Zombie games and Jack is regularly heard playing guitar and singing, very loudly at 4am, basically he is a selfish cunt. There is an extended group which will be mentioned in the future.

We have a chunder chart, a fabulous invention, I currently lag behind on 2. Luke, Jack and Jonny (downstairs flat) are all on around 10. Good efforts.

So far I have down a bottle of Jager in three bombs. Done 4 pints of Guinness in 1 minute. Drunk 4 bottles of wine and proceeded to be drunk enough to have an amusing video on FB. Dressed in a pink dressing gown to go out. Dressed as a leprechaun. Out drunk everyone I know. Almost certainly fail a mid term. Turn up to my other mid term still drunk. Spend my entire 2,800 quid loan in less than 2 months. And generally spend far too much on red wine and Jager.

I also dried my clothes before washing at times, had my accent took the piss out of multiple times. (Ths life of a cockney outside of Essex/East London)

I have also seen other people at University meet people such as Political Analyst and author Owen Jones and politician David Miliband. I have met Francis Boulle and Spencer Matthews from Made in Chelsea. Not really academically comparable.

However despite all this my first two months have been a resounding success, I have met lots of great people and had a fabulous time. Hopefully many more fun times occur and many more opportunities to blog.